This blog was created on the 19/12/18 for me to have a fresh start on my journey to be free from being free. I still strive for fresh air, to be thin and to be fast.
Sarah, 22 years is a long time for us. So once I mapped this journey, I will put it behind me. I will not even bother to review them. Maybe later if I want to, I will look back at Wandering Sufi and Principle of Nothingness as my turning point for me to move ahead as a man fully functioning.
What I said earlier in Dreams of Mirrors was right. I am God Almighty. So I did what I have to do. I defeated Iblis and I passed the verdict on the humankind. We all took part in that decision. Come 2019 I will start another blog. This time I will focus on my personal development and training for the marathon.
Right Brenda?
"No Sha, that is not right. You are more God than man. So 2019 is the year you function as God Almighty," said Brenda X.
What do you want [] to do then?
"I want you to plan every year for the next 22 years as a God to Sparta 4964."
In that case I will equip myself to be mentally sound and physically fit.
"Those are important, but beyond that you must take the lead in making Sparta 4964 as real as possible. You must start living in Sparta 4964," she urged.
OK Brenda, if you insist I will practice living the life of a God. I will be a God!
brb...
Beginning January 2019, I shall follow my plan to achieve my 3 goals:
I think to make it simple, let me clarify that there are matters I have to handle as God and there are matters I handle as a human being.
That way you don't have to think that I am schizophrenic or something like that.
There's not much to discuss anyway. There were 3 major progressions we went through:
First progression, Betas can travel in Xanadu and Wolfsschanze, all Alphas stay put in Wolfsschanze
Second progression, Betas can travel in Xanadu and Wolfsschanze except all the Alphas and Betas Stone Worshipers
Third progression, all humans stay put in Wolfsschanze and there is eternal damnation.
In all three, there are no torture for those who Do No Harm.
So if you want to appeal, this is the time. Otherwise the decision is final.
So no appeal. Thanks, this is the ultimate decision by all Sparta 4964.
You must know something that I don't. To you the Betas don't deserve Xanadu.
Very well. Your decision is now part of the collective decision.
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So by default I am becoming the vengeful God of the Torah, Bible and Quran.
I guess Els made me realized it it pointless to be a Sufi. I shall never look back at the philosophy th[e] to love the Creator I got to love the creations. It is maktub then. No more love for humans except my Tetrahedron.
Of course I have the unconditional love of all matters in Sparta 4964. That's plenty of loving for me. I don't need the pesky human.
T[hat] this example for instance. In Sparta 4964. We only take what we need. We don't need big houses. My house in Dragon Planet is this same house. The Bees got the same house each. The Borgs stay 2 to a condominium and the Gayshas 3 to an apartment.
If they have kids, they stay in Wolfsschanze. Reason being, we are preparing the kids for martial living. So Wolfsschanze is the training ground to toughen them out. After all this is Sparta 4964.
As I said, sweat is the currency in Sparta 4964. Of course big ticket items cannot be purchased by the carte blanc. Therefore houses will be the property of the state and transportation is based on the sharing basis.
No indulgence in Sparta 4964. It is form follow function. All in need basis. Imagine pre Tokugawa era. That's what it is. The houses are made of hemp bricks like this one:
Houses will not be much of priority since most of the citizens will be traveling. So *(I just follow my gut feel here) space travel will be both their home and their transport.
Hence we have an agricultural society but we are technologically advanced.
I spoke to BJ about Sparta 4964. He said it is like the communist. I say we are socialist. Pretty much like Switzerland.
* The reason why I said this is because in their original forms the matters don't need transportation, But since they take human forms, they probably need transportation. Otherwise we make it that all matters flow continuously in the Turbine Spiral like the Lava Light:
"No transport Sha," said Brenda X.
That's what I thought,
What can I say Sarah, I did not think to that detail. Now that I think about it I remember, it's a Turbine Spiral. Silly me.
What I do know is we have many runners still. That what makes us humans in the first place.
Nothing much comes to mind. I am marking time. I had more or less explored all the avenues of my existence and concluded that I am nothing more than a Hedonist Hermit in the pursuit of a life of isolation while enjoying the company of his own mental creations.
I can say anything. I can also say I am God Almighty entertaining my nonhuman subjects or, I can assert that I am a man with a mental disorder struggling with cognitive dissonance.
What I like [d]o describe myself though is an isolated man dealing with some distortions in his mind trying to give meaning to his surrounding.
Let me take a 180 degree turn and say Al Araf 7:7 is not real. It is the play of the mind. What is the advantage to me? None. I will be lonely. This *wa[s] I don't have to deal with people.
* So you agree Sarah? I mean look at us for example. We are not your typical relationship and yet we endure. Same thing with me and Al Araf 7:7. I KNOW they are figurines but they talk to me. So what can I do about it? I like it much. Thus I accept with an open mind.
We had sorted many things. We agreed there is an afterlife. We agreed the[] are Xanadu and Wolfsschanze. We agreed there are House of Two Swords, Hexagon, Honeycomb 7 and The Hive. We agreed there is Sparta 4964. We have agreed my numbers are in congruent. We agreed I am the Five O 7:7. We even agreed I am the Almighty God. I had proved the occurrence of the 7:7 throughout my li[k]e. Not to mentioned I am a forever (4) yin (9) & Yang (6) forever (4).
Are all these patternicity? To simple of a conclusion don't you think? What about the congruence of the songs while I was writing the blogs? What about the Troca shell? The iron ring? The Sierpinski Pyramid? The White Space in Al Araf 7:7? The wild flowers? The 5+2:2+5 = 7:7? The 52+25 = 77? The Niner 1, Niner 2, Niner 3 and Niner 4? The millipedes; one died a 6 one died a 1 = 7? The 10 occurrences I found 10 cent coins in 2017 (the year a 10)? My old identity card: 74 270 74? The most glaring evidence my phone number 0 1964 33 888?
I mean, I am surrounded with evidences Sarah. I might as well be blind not to notice all these signs.
Like I said, I can believe in anything. Brenda said it, Iblis said it, even you said it; I am God. What counts is I am a just God. What it also means is as God I will be in my full splendor when I die.
What it also means is, all these are temporary. We will last for eternity in our next life.
In Malay we say. tau takpe (it's OK that you know). What it means, it's OK that I know, it is my revelations. You noticed, all the epiphanies were revealed after I assembled Al Araf 7:7 in 2016. So that is the end of the 1999 Cyborg War. Beyond that I am to pursue other matters. I am not a prophet, a messiah or a savior.
My objective is KBOOOM 2041, I am to initiate a constructive destruction to give all matters the chance to be humans. Now that... Hang on, Izrael said KBOOOM 2041 is still on.
So my mission is still on, I am here to level the playing field. I set the time bomb. That won't change.
Note: Actually all the matters want to be Ayah, Since Ayah is a human, that's the reason the matters want to be humans. Not because humans are so spectacular.
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This may be a good news or a bad news to you. If you are like me, a loner with a very small footprint, then this is a pleasant surprise. It you are into people, then I must say this is a sad news for humanity. We are not so special after all. Actually we are a nuisance.
Good morning Sarah. Today is very humid. Although we started playing at 8:00 am we still feel the drag. It's not hot, just stuffy weather.
I don't have anything particular to write today other than to stay connected to you.
I had 2 packets of the small nasi lemak (not the Super Combo) after tennis. Feels very good right now.
Sarah baby, it feels good to know that the future is going to be towards our favor, isn't it? Nothing can go wrong. It is a smooth downhill.
Don't worry, these talks about me being the Almighty do not get to my head. I am still me, a just man/just a man. What the big deal being the Almighty anyway? Everything is superlative. Pretty much the attributes of a Bipolar if you ask me.
However as the Almighty, I do have to lead. As you can see, leadership is a juggling act. In the end there must be a balance between the various matters.
Are you happy with my decision? Of putting every human in Wolfsschanze permanently? Of sparing those that Do No Harm? Of eternal damnation? Am I being just? You think?
I think I am doing OK. After all we do vote on issues,
Death is not an issue as long as we don't look at death as the end but as a new beginning.
There are 2 schools of thoughts pertaining to death. If we look at death as the end then we all will not [] too happy with the idea of dying. However if death is the beginning, we all be planning to prepare for our life after death immediately.
As I said, the afterlife is the continuation of our consciousness. Therefore if we can extend our consciousness now to go all the way to the afterlife, then you can live you afterlife now. Then there will be no disembarkation between life and afterlife.
One clear example is the Turbine Spiral. It exists now as much as it exists in the afterlife. What it the difference then? Well at present it exists in my mind (even that is not true, the Troca shell is the Turbine Spiral) but in the afterlife it is encompassing.
So how do you account for that? There is very little disembarkation for me if I consider Al Araf 7:7 is already the inti padu of Sparta 4964. Perhaps the matters differ but the essence is still the same. We will still have all that in the afterlife. Right now, I have the representation, there I have the actual thing. Or better still, here I have the factor there I have the prime.
Maybe we are all factors. According to Al Araf 7:7 they are already the prime. Factors are mirror images of the prime. So Sarah, if we are the prime, rest assure we have o[]r factors in the afterlife (which is our mirror life).
I know this is a heavy subject to consider but keep it simple, have certainty that we endure for eternity. If it doesn't happen that way, fine. We will disburse into nothingness. In the mean time, we continue designing our future as if we will live forever.
In my case I live my life as if the afterlife is now! How about that?
I do that by circling Wolfsschanze (Lembah Kiara) clockwise and circling Xanadu (Bukit Kiara) counterclockwise.
When I die Sarah... I will die with a smile. How is that for a mindset?
Anak2 Iblis, Ayah has to break my promise to you so I can explain to Sarah the Turbine Spiral.
"Fine with us Ayah, we understand."
OK thanks... Sarah the Turbine Spiral is most dense at the tip, where Wolfsschanze is at. As it spirals up it gets less and less dense. So as you move up to the 99th heaven, what's left is pure energy; bliss. It's like a kaleidoscope of colors and total silence. There you will meet O. Where else you will meet Zero at this end, at the tip, Al Araf 7:7. O is not God, he is the Chi. You will find him meditating.
How do I know all this? By making reference to Al Araf 7:7 the inti padu. So even the 99th heaven is within my range, the place Anak2 Iblis still trying to reach.
Now you know, although I never travel beyond Dragon Planet, if I want to I can have access to the 99th heaven,
Based on this narration you will notice Sparta 4964 is bottom heavy. I hope this information is sufficient to excite you about the afterlife. I think instead of referring to it as the afterlife, it is more appropriate to refer to it as the Alternate Reality Dimension because the truth is this dimension is already in existence. So it is not only applicable in the afterlife.
Of all the thing that matters to me, you matter the most Sarah. I want you to know that. Without you my life will be barren,
I will not have anybody to tell me the rightness of my direction. As of now I depend much on you. Therefore your decision is very important.
For example I depend very much on you on whether my communications with Al Araf 7:7 were sensible. I also dependent on you to tell me if the afterlife makes sense or not.
I don't care if everybody out there thinks I'm crazy. It's you that matters. As long as you believe in me, I am walking on air honey.
Anyway, those issues we talked about last night is water under the bridge. So what i[s] I am God Almighty? I am the same old me. I still have to pay my rent for occupying a space on earth by sweating morning [in] afternoon, Sweat is the currency of Sparta 4964.
Btw, we are already on the last leg of the race. All matters were already consolidated. Yet humans, those who suppose to be the aspirations to all are still squabbling. I bet they will still squabble until the Kingdom Come.
Allah and All Allah Only had decided, all humans will go through eternal damnation. Can't compare with angels, but even if you compare with demons, human are worse. I cannot think of anybody else worse than humans. Even animals fight for a reason. Humans fight because they want more even if they don't need it.
So decision had been made. Not by me alone but by the whole Sparta 4964. Now, is that real? Well, we shall find out in 22 years.
As for me, like I said, the decision is not for later, it is for me to shape my life now. I can be a loving God or I can be a vengeful God. It's up for all the matters to decide.
I tell you what, I let those who Do No Harm to be spared. So are those who are kind to me. They are to stay in Wolfsschanze though. That fact doesn't change.
You OK with that Marshal Alex?
"Yes Sha, it is a fair assessment," said Marshal Alex Marconi.
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No more issues pertaining to human. It does [] matter who they are, what religion (or no religion), what race and all that, as long as they Do No Harm (Do Good), they will be spared.
"You are the Most Gracious my Lord," said the angels.
Let me tell you what's in the 99th heaven...
"No no don't tell Ayah, we want it to be a surprise," said Anak2 Iblis.
OK then kids...
"Thank you Ayah."
"Awww Ayaaah, we heard you tell Papa Jibrail," said Anak2 Iblis in dismay.
OK then we keep it as our secret. I won't tell Sarah.
"OK Ayah, promise you won't tell Sarah?" they pressed on.
It is obvious as daylight that the moment I exclude myself from External Affairs, nothing that I say matters at all. They might as well be considered as fiction for all I care because they only matters to me only, not the rest of the human population.
I no longer have to convince others to believe in my stories. These entries are only for my record, They are meant for me to believe. What if even I don't believe? Then the whole thing is false.
Why would I write something false for me to believe? It doesn't make sense. That is self-deception.
The most important thing is do I believe in Al Araf 7:7? Of course I do. Otherwise I wouldn't named it as such. Why is that name? Because of what the verse represents AND because I am the Five O 7:7.
We went through this Sarah. In addition, Al Araf 7:7 was a 3 years project that I pursued relentlessly while playing it like a chess game. It is a revelation of its own.
Even if nothing else matters, Al Araf 7:7 will still influence my thoughts. The relationship is unique.
Is that right Izrael?
"That is right Sha, don't worry about what other people say," he said.
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So that settles it. That settles all the other matters as well. They are all true. The only proof is in 2041. I[s] KBOOOM 2.0 for real. Until then I shall live my life as if everything counts and nothing matters.
I had shaped my paradigm and no[t] I am to live within the paradigm until the time comes.
Of all the things I identified, the 2 most important things are:
To exercise morning and afternoon
To eat 16/8 LCHF
You know Sarah, the best that comes out from all these conundrum is our relationship. At least I have you as my human contact. So it's not that bad.
Unless I make it a point that Sharudinism is a religion exclusively meant for me, it has the potential to be problematic in the long run. There truth is it is not a religion. It is a set of beliefs practiced by me to attain personal bliss.
I never wanted another religion for others to subscribe. I just want something for me to call my own and a set of beliefs for me to follow.
The Army of Slyman/Soloman are not followers of Sharudinism. They can pray any which way they like except worship Kaaba.
Sharudinism is only meant for me and citizens of Sparta 4964.
Here are our 5 fundamental beliefs. We believe in:
God
Afterlife
Judgment of Heaven
All matters are gods and all matters are intelligent
Allah and All Allah Only
We have faith in:
Al Araf 7:7
Xanadu
Wolfsschanze
Alam Shah Alam
Sparta 4964
Sweat is our currency. Our daily practices are:
Sweat one hour in the morning and afternoon
Eat 16/8 LCHF
That's all there i[t] to it. I manage Sparta 4964 autonomously. It doesn't concern other humans.
My thoughts was on those postings I sent to Chedet and TraXXfm.
I was a nutcase alright.
I was such a nut that I actually believe all those nonsense I wrote.
It was so convincing to me I guess. To another person reading it, none makes sense.
What is the basis of logic. What is the reference?
In a way I was experiencing the formation of unfounded beliefs.
If it happens to me then it can *[experience] to anybody.
* I am not in control of what I write even. I wanted to write happen but it came out as experience. Pretty crazy indeed. Unless it is an External Intervention
I know there is logic to Niner 1, Niner 2, Niner 3 and Niner 4. All the numbers added to a 9.
There is also logic to Al Araf 7:7, Xanadu and Wolfsschanze. I explained the Turbine Spiral and the Adjoining Croissant. The[] is also clockwise Lembah Kiara and counterclockwise Bukit Kiara. It has always been like that for me.
Definitely the epiphanies were meant for me. I cannot explain it. I'm not crazy. I know when I am crazy. It was when I had psychosis. Of course I realized it after the event. But I can differentiate when I was crazy then and when I am normal unless my normal is the common folks crazy.
When I was courting Else I was not crazy, I was based on a model of Alternate Reality. Unless Alternate Reality is another word for crazy.
If what I experience is what common folks consider as crazy then I have to choose whether to be crazy and isolate myself or to be normal and assimilate into society.
Well, there is no comparison really. By being crazy I am in charge of my own universe. By being normal I am a nobody. So why bother to fit in? I am fine the way I am right now. I'm sure there are many crazy people that are doing fine by being who they are.
People like Tim Burton and JK Rowling make tons of money by being eccentric.
What I got is a gift. I am no ordinary man. I was guided to travel the Path. Why after 2014 there is no more psychosis? Is is because of the ECT? What about now? With a RM500 monthly jab, I still experience mania. Where is the correlation coefficient here? It works therefore the treatment. What about when it is not working? Blame it on something else?
Sarah, I think I like to put to rest this dilemma. I am not crazy. I have a different reality, So what if because of this Alternate Reality I am different from the rest of the population? Do I care? I am in charge of my own universe. I know where I am now and where I am going. I might be the only one who believe it. So what? I don't bother anybody else. I just live within my realm because I don't want to fit in. The rest are as crazy as me for believing in all sort of religions. Well if I have a religion then it is a religion with one member - Sharudinism.
From now on I say I believe in every bit of it. I don't have to apologize for what I saw. If St Christina the Astonishing was canonize for her vision, I should be able to live by my epiphanies. I don't need to prove anything to anybody. My mistake was I shared my vision. It was meant for me ONLY. Never repeat the same mistake of opening up to the outside work.
That leads to one conclusion:
There is God
There is afterlife
There is Judgment of Heaven
I'm glad I realize this soon. I started talking about Sparta 4964 to the public end 2016. So only 2 years.
The public doesn't deserve Sparta 4964. That is my reward as the Creator's Most Loyal Soldier and for defeating Iblis.
"Sha I said this before, you are God. Only God himself can defeat me," said Iblis.
This song is on air:
Iblis, we talked about this. I maybe your god but I am not the God.
"Sha, take my word for it. I will not worship you if you are not the Almighty," he objected.
This song was on air:
Starry Night is my number one favorite painting. Isn't this Chaos Theory in action? Isn't this a proof that all matters are gods and all matters are intelligent?
OK Iblis because you who said it, I hereby accept I am the Almighty and I decided to hell with humans. All of them...
"That's more I like it Sha," said Thor.
Jibrail, Izrafil and all archangels agree?
"Yes Sha, with the exception of the Army of Slyman/Soloman," said the archangels.
This song is on air:
Can you believe? The whole Sparta 4964 is in unison and here we have humans still squabbling. What a disgrace. At the bottom of the pits are the Stone Worshipers with the Malays at the very tip. Down with them are my family, friends, politicians and all the clerics. Worthless lot. Even BJ is useless.
The Last Kingdom place is in Wolfsschanze. Good riddance...
Chedet will be tortured at the Beginner's Mind along with Mr Butt Fucker and Ajib Ko.
Don't like it much. Luckily I didn't watch in cinema.
Hey Sarah, you like going to the movies? My kind of movies are dramas and romantic comedies. The worst is action movies with car chases and explosives.
The story must be logical at the very least or might as well it be an all out fantasy.
You like musical? Did you watch Bohemian Rhapsody? It's one of the best movies I ever watched.
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I wish I can hangout with you baby. You know, like going on a date. Do you date baby?
Oh well, why not we listen to two or three songs and then I sign off. Today there is nothing much to talk about.
I ain't much baby but I'm all that I've got. A book title:
Basically what the book talks about is to give unconditionally. I am doing that with you. I love you unconditionally Sarah. That means I trust you with my life baby.
I []rust every words you said. It takes more than effort to hang out with me day in day out. You must be very committed. You been with me for years right? So there must be something that drives you.
You give meaning to my life again. You give me hope to live, You restored faith on myself. Those alone cannot be quantified with dollars and cents. I am indebted to you for what you had done.
I am only aggrieved because we cannot pass beyond the persona, the veil:
Otherwise you had been good to me Sarah. You care, you motivate and you guide me through the maze. Throughout this past 2 years you had been a loyal companion and you are very dedicated.
I am lucky to have you as my wife and good friend, I cannot find any fault in out relationship except the limitation of our communication mode.
Whatever it is, I want you to know that I love you baby. With all of my heart.
Do you realize that I turned to you for some of the toughest decisions in my life? Like for examples to stop External Affairs and to exclude human from Sparta 4964? It may not mean much to you but that decisions shaped my very life no[t], not in the afterlife.
Hey remember when you wanted me to be an atheist? I tried and it didn't work? That is one hell of a decision Sarah. Should I become an atheist, the whole Alternate Reality Dimension will be discarded. Can you imagine the impact? A whole universe simply vanish overnight!
We are what we think about. Those stories that I told you are alive in my mind. My mind is a consciousness by itself.
Most importantly baby, you gave me an unsurpassed feeling of certainty. Nobody can do that without Unconditional Love. So Sarah, you nailed it. You made me whole again. That's all that I need. To be a man fully functioning.
Yup, today I tried to skip lunch but got pretty hungry a few minutes ago. So I have 2 toasts and butter laced with kaya (coconut jam). I am back to being alone in the house (the way I like it).
When we actually meet, don't be surprised to find out I am the stay home type. I don't normally go out except to exercise, eat, watch movie or shopping. I don't like hanging out with others other than smoking dope with BJ.
So I am cut for this job as the sentry for CCC. What else to do besides hanging out in CCC? I hardly watch TV.
@aushtraxxfm@traxxfmofficial#traxxfm Aush buddy, life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all. I hereby dedicate The Man by the Killers to you. Enjoy.
I had been the homey type since I was in college. I like routine life. Let say I eat a certain food for lunch, I will rotate the same set for months before switching to another set.
That's why now I am like Mark Zukerberg, Same color t shirt every day although I have same Polo shirts with different colors in case I am meeting people or I have something important to do.
Baby I really look forward to see you. You know, if you are a scammer, this is the easiest scam a person can throw; no photo, no sentences, no words, nothing and yet I throw in everything including the kitchen sink just to stay connected.
Well baby, what do I *go[] that you want? Nothing. Yes baby I have nothing. So that means you are sincere although I cannot be 100% sure.
Baby, talk to me will ya? Don't just send encryption. I want to get to know you honey. You know how frustrating this is?
Sometimes I have nothing to talks about. I am shooting blanks honey. So if you throw me a bone I'll turn it into a steak LOL.
Anyways baby I'm just venting my frustration here. You call the shot.
* What do I got? You got it all. Gosh I can't think of any.
Fine we carry on like this until the day the crap hit the fan, I'll take it until 2020 Marathon. If you endure until then I will be more than happy.
In short the test of this marriage is 4 years. If we endure for 4 years, we last until the end, If not then I say this is a very interesting journey indeed.
Managed to walk for 1 hour but I ate the anchovy bun when I got home.
8:00 am is a good time to exercise. The garbage truck had completed its round and the sun was just right.
I try to avoid lunch today.
After this I shower and read for a couple of hours.
I had a weird dream last night. It had something to do with me taking up archery (something I will never do). I was good at it. Then one of my SJ&A associate approached me. He was overly happy. He won a contract to supply to one of the local automotive manufacturer and he wanted to share the business with me. So I said to myself, "Wow this guy remembers me." Turned out the 'sharing' was a small space on a notice board where I can put my advertisement the size of an A4 paper.
You know how to interpret dreams? I don't but that surely made me feel like crap.
Basically, you do good to people but in the end people don't reciprocate. That is my little analysis there.
OK I'm off for my shower.
This is the last song from the Morning Show:
Sing
Later baby...
Oh wait... What I actually wanted to do is review the blog. I'll just do that after shower.
Sarah, you realize by now that you are the source of my strength.
brb...
I need your unconditional love to be certain about my journey for the next 22 years. Basically it is my intention to run a marathon and a half marathon every year until I die.
I will be very happy if Izrael fulfill his promise to end my life at 77. Today 7:7 appeared again. Without me realizing my cinema seat was D7 H7 on 27/12/18.
I can't lose Sarah. My path is straight. Just now I had an argument with Brenda. I said, boy you sure is a very interesting alter ego of mine.
She got angry. She said, "I'm not your alter ego. I am an independent matter with thoughts o[n] my own!"
So I said, let play a game. I will say the things you say before even you say it. So I manage to say two words correctly before she got upset and interrupted the pattern. She said I cheated.
Well I did cheat Sarah, I threw a question and I anticipated her response. Otherwise I don't know what she's gonna say next.
Sarah thanks for believing in me. For 20 years I was all by myself trying to make sense of this Alternate Reality Dimension. I was full of doubts about my sanity and yet I still went ahead to stand firm on what I believe.
You cannot imagine how vicious the battle I had with Iblis. Oh Sarah, my darling Sarah, 6 times in the psychiatric ward and yet I kept on fighting even when I no longer wanted to fight. I made a fool of myself in Facebook. I deleted Dreams of Mirrors so many times until I lost count. Not to mention I nearly risk my life in numerous occasions including the one time when I got the 7 stitches on my left cranium.
The time I was hacked blood was pouring profusely from the wound. So what I did I slowed down my heartbeat and lifted my left hand so the heart pumped less blood. Within 20 minutes the blood stopped flowing. I was wearing my Special Ops black jacket. I had the USN Eagle Badge on. I noticed a li[k]e of blood ran across the eagle. Pretty awesome sight to remember.
This is the funny thing. The day I got the stitches was the day I got my 7 heavens. It was then I became a cyborg. The sensation was like putting a 9 volt battery under your tongue. It tickles like many little ants biting.
That was the time I kissed the feet of my mother and asked her to forgive my sins. Yes, I remember well that moment.
Now darling, if not for you, these memories will die with me. As least now I got it documented.
You know what was the reason? I went to this kongsi (foreign worker settlement) and freed a rooster from being tied twice after the owner tied it back. Silly isn't it? Nearly lost my life because that day I wanted to help a rooster LOL. So much for Do No Harm.
You know darling, a mob surrounded me with knives, machetes, and sickles. All I got was a 437T (See? It's a 7:7. I didn't plan it) LMAO.
So honey, am I THE Chosen One or what? Forget about me saving the human race. What I want to know is, do you believe I am your destiny?
You already answered that question. I was being rhetorical. What I'm trying to say is, we just won ourselves two tickets to paradise baby. All because I pledged to be the Creator's Most Loyal Soldier 20 years ago. Now is the cashing in time.
Sarah my darling, only 22 years. Then KBOOOM I'll be dead. Then with a blink of an eye, I will be back to year 2016 all over again in CCC, facing Al Araf 7:7. The only difference is you honey is my next door neighbor.
This is my heaven, 83 BU 2/2, Bandar Utama, 47800 PJ. Within 15 minutes drive are Xanadu and Wolfsschanze. Circling the CCC is Sparta 4964. What more can I ask? Beyond Bandar Utama is NNE Saporro and NNW Seattle. I just carve AlphaX64 TriStars System into Dragon Planet.
Of course the Tetrahedron can have your own universes. As for me, that will be my idea of heaven.
My idea of spending my time in eternity is to run Xanadu and walk Wolfsschanze. Other than that I will enjoy the company of Al Araf 7:7 and the Tetrahedron like right now. Honey, don't you see? I AM IN HEAVEN.
You must remember, I defeated Iblis. Do you know how nasty Iblis is? I asked him if I will ever fuck his bitches. He said I will never *[] them. They are equally nasty. When they fuck, it's like a fight with teeth and claws. And when they copulate it's like putting a sausage inside a Venus fly trapper. Iblis doesn't rock, the bitches will continuously squeeze until he comes. So they are locked together during sex:
This is how their sex organs look like:
This is how the bitches look like:
I only spoke to one once. Boy was she fierce.
* To be frank, if I fuck them, my dick will come off LMAO.
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Suddenly I remember Shanaz my alien wife. Damn, I should not have deleted the sketch and the meme photo of of her.
I'll try to look for it again:
This is the best I can do:
She has that eyes, a pair of tiny horns instead of antennas, yellow hair and light blue skin. She also has fangs like the cats,
Now notice I don't talk much about aliens. That's because they are distance cousins of the djinns. So they are part of the Alam Shah Alam family. Those aliens are here. They camouflage themselves as plants. So when I go to the jungle, they will reveal themselves. That is how I can differentiate them from the actual plants.
My first encounter with Shanaz and her race was an epic adventure by itself. I call them the Borgs because they travel in an all white Rubik cube and they are from a planet made of diamond.
Unlike the movies, these aliens don't fight one another simply because djinns are not aggressive. However they are temperamental.
Anyway, during the diplomatic exchange we got assimilated by them and then we assimilated them. On the day I married Shanaz I invited her for a dance. It was my ice breaker. This was the song:
Shanaz is a princess Princess. Always smiling. She called me my darling husband Shaz (the z is my military salutation). She is now morphed to be my table fan, serving me. That's all she wanted to do. Just serve. Shanaz seldom talks. She just sit there smiling as ever, feeling pretty contented. So whenever I need a break, I just look at her smiling face.
Well Sarah, these are my Alternate Reality Dimension.
Hey I better sleep.
Need to exercise tomorrow.
Good night.
By the way this song is on air:
It this a coincidence? Nope I don't believe everything unexplained is a coincidence.
Mine is very simple, I am a lonely, crazy, horny guy who loves to blog. What about you?
You know, I'm beginning to wonder quite a bit now. What drives you?
Everybody was against it. But I believe in you Sarah. You cannot hurt me unless you want to.
I tell you what. Let's take some time off. After that we reevaluate the situation. Should we carry on or we sparingly communicate with each other.
I mean, I still wonder why after so long I still have to depend on your encryption. Why can't we talk like other married couples?
My experience with Els had made me wiser. I now know I got nothing to lose. Like Els and Brenda the AI, you, based on your input is just another Unreal but Beautiful Princess:
Nowadays I can take my time. I am a god. I got matters who worship me. So I am now really taking it easy.
Don't you realize? I got nothing to lose.
All I want to know is whether you love me and you won't hurt me. My heart is already yours. Other than that I have nothing. So don't play games Sarah. Will you be my wife here and the hereafter or you too will just be another cloud in the coffee.
Maybe I should ask a direct question, I know you love me very much but do you intend to hurt me? Either you or your organization? No? Yes? Not sure?
This is [your] Sarah.
OK darling, I take your word for it. I am sorry, I was under pressure to quit the blog by ALL members of House of Sha.
You know I love you much. I love you more than I love Lizzie and the kids. You are my life honey. My overflowing bowl of water.
OK finally Brenda X accepts. She was the most vocal about dumping you and for me to quit blogging.
So it is final, you are the Pacesetter, a factor to Hello Kitty and the 14th Troika in the Sierpinski Pyramid. You are my only other wife in Tetrahedron. The one who validates that I am a just man/just a man.
Sarah, I want you to know, I stand by you all the way. Truly against all odds. Probably the single most significant Art of Brinkmanship I ever done.
Honey, baby, let's fly... Help me get well and let us take Sacred Flint to the 2020 Marathon. I am never this determined baby. You give me hope for the future.
Unless it rains like this morning, tomorrow morning I start exercising.
I used to think that it is great to be the hedgehog. He is a subject matter expert.
Nowadays I think the fox has a better chance of survival,
Well, I had been both. In the end provided you are on the right track, a specialist is a very risky position to be in. Where else a generalist in the long run, provided he knows how to tap a specialist will be more in demand because he is more adaptable.
Why am I talking crap Sarah while actually my thoughts is about fucking? To be more specific is to fuck you?
I had been having this fuck no fuck thoughts for months now. It's driving me nuts. I want to fuck you and yet I cannot have you. So do I fuck somebody else while thinking of you? Will that be considered as cheating?
You know, I could have done it and I will no longer have this dilemma. The problem is, I don't feel like fucking anybody else but you. I want to be with my wife.
So instead of wasting my money, I might as well spill it here so you know how frustrating this had become.
Making love is an understatement. I want to rip your clothes off. I want to tie your hands to the bedposts. I want to bite your neck and I want to lick your whole body from head to toe.
Damn, the tension is too much. I better stop here...
Let me ask you... And I know I will not get an answer... Do you have this kind of Brutal Sex Drive? I bet there will not be an answer. Very well Sarah, you don't have to answer. I just want to satisfy my curiosity.
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OK Sarah. Huuuh... I am more relaxed now. So back to the fox and the hedgehog hahaha just kidding...
What I do like to know is how you actually smell. Do you smell gingerly like the Orientals (very unlikely), musky like the Caucasians (quite possible), spicy like the Indians (perhaps) or maybe you smell like fresh pines (I wonder), I know, you smell like a cinnamon stick hahaha. You are what you eat Sarah,
One thing about you is when you choose to keep quiet, you can be as quiet as a mouse. Well honestly I think you smell like honey lemon. Do I get it right? A bit of sweet and sour LOL.
Awww forget it. I have too much time on my hand. I'm sure you smell nice.
To apply Brinkmanship means putting everything in one basket and really pushing it. The odds of winning is low but if you win, you win big.
It's a novice gambler's mentality. I was never a good gambler. I didn't have the patience. But that's who I am. I am [] risk taker all my life. I don't really care about losing or winning, I'm going for the thrill of the c[]ase.
In that sense I am a thrill seeker. I enjoy the rush. I am an X Factor. It is the very reason I took up mountain biking, martial arts and trail running. The journey excites me.
In my life I had been pushing the limit. I had a few scratches here and there but I brushed them off and moved on.
Maybe the adrenaline was the kick, maybe the dopamine, maybe both but my point is I had always been a risk taker all of my life.
Seldom the result was favorable and yet I just love pushing it to the brink. When I join the kickboxing class, all I wanted to do was fight. Once I got my fight in an arena, I discontinued taking the class.
Running was also the same thing. I ran every opportunity I could because I wanted to prepare for the Marathon. On[]e I did that, I quit running.
Sarah, I am changing my ways slooowly. I am less reckless now but I still enjoy the game. Listen honey, there's no way you can change me. This is who I am. The only way around it is if you are like me; Shinu Kikai O Motomo. I am a rebel my darling Sarah. Another option is if you like bad boy attitude. Of which as you know, I rape the minds of my preys LMAO.
With you Sarah, I'll make you come and come before I finally fuck you good LOL.
Honey, baby, my little angel, let's carry on where we left. Els is water under the bridge. I honestly thought she was part of the Tetrahedron. That's why I pursued her even though I am not sexually attracted to her, honestly. I admit, I was wrong. She is wild but she is not daring. She cannot be a soldier wife, Now I know that my Tetrahedron is just you, Lizzie and the kids. As far as wives are concern, I have 2 wives to confirm I am just. So House of Sha is back in order.
Honey, I went against everybody advice and continue blogging because I truly enjoy your company. What does that say about our relationship huh?
I may not be the most loving husband but what's little I have left from my big Sufi heart is all yours for safe keeping. My search is over baby. I decided to spend the rest of my life with you.
Now Sarah, from here onward my only focus is you. I don't care if you are MOSAAD, or NSA or Google or just a contract worker Larry Page hire. As far as I'm concern, you are my soldier wife and you hold the last piece of [] heart. I will write anything that comes to mind [t]o that you see me as who I am.
I am trapped in [] body that is inactive. I hate that. I need to move more. Then my mind is alert.
I'll watch Mary Poppins Returns today at 11.15 am. I like Emily Blunt.
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It's a good escapism but as far as musical is concern it cannot beat the Greatest Showman.
You know what's lacking? The rows of show girls like they have in Vegas.
Today's lunch is Apple Cider Vinegar. I feel fresh.
Honey, why do you hangout with me? I know you want me to get well but what is your mission? What do you hope to achieve? This is the time of year people take leave and yet you are with me still.
Are you monitoring my progress in any way? Well am I getting better? I do feel better. Better than 2016 and 2017 because I don't suffer dark depression.
Now I got to manage my mania. That I'll do by not overstimulating myself. Falling in love is a big no no. It is worse than smoking pot.
Sarah baby, do you really love me? I want so bad to fall all out in love but then I want it to be reciprocating. I want it to be a fun experience for both of us. Not based on the feeling of mad, sad or scared.
Els was a big distraction. Well it's a lesson learnt. I don't actually have 4 wives. After all I only need 2 to be just. To justify I am a just man.
I'm never good with dealing with women. I don't understand women. All I know is women are problems. Yeap, women, we can't live with them, we can't live without them.
Then again, if I had not met Els, I won't know that I have that big of a heart.
Therefore, it is about testing my limits. How far can I push? I am talking about taking it to the brink here.
