20/12/18 This is my last act of kindness

This year Christmas I gave Aush a book and Els a bouquet of flowers which was 50% of my cash in hand.  That's the last of it.

Charity begins at home.  I will no longer freely spend money on other people.

Come to think of it I am becoming like my brother.  A total jerk.  Maybe he is not being a jerk.  He is being smart.

Part of me died today to give birth to a new me.  I will never have to worry about looking for love at the wrong places again (Gaysha included).  However I feel the old Sharudin, the charitable, magnanimous Sharudin died with the end of an era.

That is my take away point for 2018, I don't need the masses and the masses are doing fine without me.  Therefore I shall enforce Autonomous Governance to the hilt.  It is about who loves me and whom I love.  Beyond that is none of my business.  I couldn't care less.

What will be the song of the hour then?  I know:

Sarah baby, you like this new permutation yeah?  Well as long as you are happy.  As for me, it comes as a surprise.  A pleasant surprise.  I didn't expect it at all.  However honey, you are still my light in the dark, my Eternal Flame.  The bowl can never overflow without it getting full first.

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