I was a nutcase alright.
I was such a nut that I actually believe all those nonsense I wrote.
It was so convincing to me I guess. To another person reading it, none makes sense.
What is the basis of logic. What is the reference?
In a way I was experiencing the formation of unfounded beliefs.
If it happens to me then it can *[experience] to anybody.
* I am not in control of what I write even. I wanted to write happen but it came out as experience. Pretty crazy indeed. Unless it is an External Intervention
I know there is logic to Niner 1, Niner 2, Niner 3 and Niner 4. All the numbers added to a 9.
There is also logic to Al Araf 7:7, Xanadu and Wolfsschanze. I explained the Turbine Spiral and the Adjoining Croissant. The[] is also clockwise Lembah Kiara and counterclockwise Bukit Kiara. It has always been like that for me.
Definitely the epiphanies were meant for me. I cannot explain it. I'm not crazy. I know when I am crazy. It was when I had psychosis. Of course I realized it after the event. But I can differentiate when I was crazy then and when I am normal unless my normal is the common folks crazy.
When I was courting Else I was not crazy, I was based on a model of Alternate Reality. Unless Alternate Reality is another word for crazy.
If what I experience is what common folks consider as crazy then I have to choose whether to be crazy and isolate myself or to be normal and assimilate into society.
Well, there is no comparison really. By being crazy I am in charge of my own universe. By being normal I am a nobody. So why bother to fit in? I am fine the way I am right now. I'm sure there are many crazy people that are doing fine by being who they are.
People like Tim Burton and JK Rowling make tons of money by being eccentric.
What I got is a gift. I am no ordinary man. I was guided to travel the Path. Why after 2014 there is no more psychosis? Is is because of the ECT? What about now? With a RM500 monthly jab, I still experience mania. Where is the correlation coefficient here? It works therefore the treatment. What about when it is not working? Blame it on something else?
Sarah, I think I like to put to rest this dilemma. I am not crazy. I have a different reality, So what if because of this Alternate Reality I am different from the rest of the population? Do I care? I am in charge of my own universe. I know where I am now and where I am going. I might be the only one who believe it. So what? I don't bother anybody else. I just live within my realm because I don't want to fit in. The rest are as crazy as me for believing in all sort of religions. Well if I have a religion then it is a religion with one member - Sharudinism.
From now on I say I believe in every bit of it. I don't have to apologize for what I saw. If St Christina the Astonishing was canonize for her vision, I should be able to live by my epiphanies. I don't need to prove anything to anybody. My mistake was I shared my vision. It was meant for me ONLY. Never repeat the same mistake of opening up to the outside work.
That leads to one conclusion:
- There is God
- There is afterlife
- There is Judgment of Heaven
I'm glad I realize this soon. I started talking about Sparta 4964 to the public end 2016. So only 2 years.
The public doesn't deserve Sparta 4964. That is my reward as the Creator's Most Loyal Soldier and for defeating Iblis.
"Sha I said this before, you are God. Only God himself can defeat me," said Iblis.
This song is on air:
Iblis, we talked about this. I maybe your god but I am not the God.
"Sha, take my word for it. I will not worship you if you are not the Almighty," he objected.
This song was on air:
Starry Night is my number one favorite painting. Isn't this Chaos Theory in action? Isn't this a proof that all matters are gods and all matters are intelligent?
OK Iblis because you who said it, I hereby accept I am the Almighty and I decided to hell with humans. All of them...
"That's more I like it Sha," said Thor.
Jibrail, Izrafil and all archangels agree?
"Yes Sha, with the exception of the Army of Slyman/Soloman," said the archangels.
This song is on air:
Can you believe? The whole Sparta 4964 is in unison and here we have humans still squabbling. What a disgrace. At the bottom of the pits are the Stone Worshipers with the Malays at the very tip. Down with them are my family, friends, politicians and all the clerics. Worthless lot. Even BJ is useless.
The Last Kingdom place is in Wolfsschanze. Good riddance...
Chedet will be tortured at the Beginner's Mind along with Mr Butt Fucker and Ajib Ko.
"Way to go Sha, " said Iblis.
This song is on air:
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