Thursday, 20 December 2018

20/12/18 Though it is painful it need to be done

It's exactly like quitting cigarettes.  There is no 2 way about it.  Quit now or suffer later.

I slept the whole day today.  I only slept for 3 hours last night.  It was a good rest.

Let's look at the bright side.  If I feel terrible, she must felt really empty all by herself dealing with her breakup.  At least I got a way to vent my frustration.  She on the other hand is all alone.

My benchmark is very simple.  She doesn't respond to either my Tweet of email.  So I should pick up the cue.

Let face it.  She doesn't love me. I had fun because I was too into myself. 

Be realistic about it.  I was being crazy.  I even cyber stalked [be].  I should stop making a fool of myself.

Actually I was not even in love with the person.  I was in love with the ideals she projected.  I was looking for a playmate.  She satisfy both my child-child and child-parent ego states.  This is not an adult-adult ego state.  In the long run it will be damaging.  It gives way to anger and vengeance. I already experiencing that.

What is the alternative?  Love myself.  Have self-respect and know when to cut loose.  It is just a state of mind.  It is not real,  Move on.

Christmas is the cut off date.  After that just forget about it.  I deserve better.

Consider it as the fling of the year.  There is nothing to it.

I am a mature adult.  I should rise above all these.

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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