2018 started at as a mania and it lasted until March. I felt lost after that episode. I almost slide into depression. Then in June I met Els. I was already in mania by the time I met her. That mania lasted until 25th December this year; 7 months.
My issue is I didn't realize it was an upswing. For heaven's sake I feel fine!
How do I avoid this from happening again?
Don't fall in love. Don't smoke dope. Basically minimize dopamine surge.
Before I forget, strike out Konek and Amoi.
I plan to quit smoking. So no smokers friends. I will quit smoking before end of this year. I will quit Nicorette too.
2018, I also managed to run again, So my goals to breathe fresh air, be thin and be fast will be carried out to next year.
NO MORE MORNING SHOW. Focus on the run.
The answer to all my problems is to be thin.
Love is fleeting, being thin means I renew myself as a different person. A person who has a wider spectrum of living.
I got to achieve 65 kg this year. Eat 16/8 beginning 2:00 pm every day. Instead of lunch I eat fish oil, MCT Oil, Black Seed Oil and Apple Cider Vinegar.
As track record showed, I am not cut for falling in love. I cannot manage the dopamine surge. In other words I am not cool and I crack under pressure.
Also I learned in 2018 that all the epiphanies are meant for me. It is pointless to tell anybody about them.
We only believe what we want to believe. Hence I believe in Al Araf 7:7, Sparta 4964 and the afterlife. I believe in Autonomous Governance and the Zen of Personal Bliss. Just keep it to myself.
As stated in the in the 8th Precept, all matters are gods and all matters are intelligent. Therefore I continuously speak to them even if it means I am schizophrenic.
As long as I CHOOSE to live in my reality and nobody's involved, I am doing fine on my own.
The most important thing is I got my Tetrahedson and Al Araf 7:7. The rest doesn't matter. We all live in our own reality anyway.
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